Last Two Flights w/ Bambi

Bambi got hired to the airlines. I can't tell you how happy I was for her. It delayed my training another month and a half though. Today was my first time back in the air since October 29th.

Two important things happened during my last two flights with her that bear noting. On the first flight, we go to take off and I can't remember the rotation speed (the take-off speed of the airplane). She remained quiet and wouldn't tell me what it was (as I was barreling down the runway and a little freaked out). Much to my surprise, when I started to get freaked out, the plane just took off by itself. Shocked the hell out of me. These little airplanes do want to fly and if they end up going fast enough, they will just take off on their own. It was kind of a sign to me not to get so nervous. One point that has been reiterated to me over and over is that: These planes WANT to fly. And fly they will.

On the second flight, I was working on radios. I was getting frustrated. Bambi kept taking over for me if I got tongue-tied or nervous. I wasn't going to learn that way. So we decided that if I needed help, I'd elbow her and she'd repeat what they said in my ear and I'd say it along with her. We're going along and I try to say it as fast as I can so I don't forget what they said (sometimes the tower comes back with lots of instructions at light speed) and Bambi laughs at me because it sounds like I'm holding my breath as I repeat back what they said (which I probably am). I'm beyond frustrated at this point (as I was a lot towards the end with her - just some of the comments she'd say to me in the air, like "Take a chill pill". Nope, not joking).

So we're in the air, coming back to the airport. The tower has now switched our runway three times, so there's lots of back and forth and lots of confusing/contradicting instructions. Bambi was helping me because she said it was even confusing for her. I messed up on one of them, repeating the instructions out of order (which isn't really a big deal, as long as you show you understood what the tower told you and as long as you get your point across). My frustrations rose. I felt so lost and discouraged. The tower comes back with yet another runway change. But before I can answer, a confident female's voice comes across the airwaves, repeating back the tower's last communication. Solid, unrushed, in-command.

"Runway Three-Four, Two Delta Charlie."

It wasn't Bambi's voice, but I had no idea where it came from. I turn my head slowly to my right with a questioning look to Bambi to ask her where it came from and whose voice was that. The look on her face mirrored my own - "Where the hell did that come from?" and she even asked it. It was then I realized that the voice was mine. Something inside of me came alive at that moment and reflexively responded on it's own. Done without thought. Naturally. She was as shocked as I was. But said it was a good start and indicated that I was starting to get the radios down.

So I've got it in me. I always have. I just need to work on the confidence to harness that and not let it come as quite a shock the next time.