My mom says this isn't a race and I've had a lot happen that was out of my control. It still stings a little though. Merlin would say I've got "get-there-itis" and need not rush things. I don't doubt I'll get there eventually. I just wish it was sooner, rather than later.
So one year ago today, huh...? Hard to believe I am where I am, considering this was only a "passing interest". haha My life's changed so much since then. I didn't know how much I loved aviation then... or at least I didn't think I did at the time. I think it was just the lack of confidence holding that back.
I remember being interested, but thinking I could walk away and be okay. I remember thinking I'd always look to the sky, wondering "what if?", but couldn't justify spending $10,000 on something I was only mildly interested in. I went home and either dreamt that night or the next of a tiny plane following behind me, playfully nudging me in the bottom like a dog would (no prop, thank god! haha) and saying "Come play with me, Heather, come play!". When I responded that I'd like to, but I was too scared, the plane laughed and said "Scared of what? I don't fall, I FLY!! Come play, Heather".
In the days that followed, I wasn't able to get it out of my brain. Aviation was the first thing I thought about when I woke up in the morning and the last thing I thought about before going to sleep at night. And apparently, it was even there in my dreams...
I kept saying I was undecided, but I started doing things to begin my aerospace education. Baloo, my first instructor, suggested I go visit other flight schools. I laughed, saying that I wasn't even sure that I wanted to do this yet. "Just in case", he said. So I sat down, thought up some questions and went. He and some others said I would have never gone if I wasn't sure. I went for my aviation medical exam, still saying "just in case". I honestly wasn't even sure if I'd pass it, considering my medical history. When I did, I was on top of the moon! I figured if I didn't pass, then that'd be a sign I shouldn't be doing this.
I went to sleep one night, asking out loud if I should really do this. A word appeared in one of my dreams that night and I held onto it until morning. As I started to wake up, the word bounced around in my head. At first I thought it was gibberish, but it persisted and I thought there must be a reason why it was sticking around. I kept repeating it. No, it wasn't gibberish - it was another language. Italian maybe? I was still waking up, but had more clarity. I KNEW I had heard this word before. The word intensified in my brain until I said it out loud. I finally woke up completely, confused by why this word was hanging around and had no clue to what it meant. Japanese! It was a Japanese word! And maybe it was sticking around because this was an answer to my question I had asked before I went to sleep. I ran to the computer to look it up. The first thing that popped up was "the favorite word of confident people". My heart leaped and I smiled, thinking this very well could be the answer I was looking for so desperately. I finally found the definition and sat in my chair, stunned.
"Mochiron - of course"
Aviation has caused something inside of me to wake up that I never knew existed before. It's almost magical. One friend told me that it makes every cell in my body come alive - and it does, it really does. My pilot buddies think I'm really unusual in my interest, and to this day, I still don't understand why it's so unusual. In fact, I think it's kind of unusual that they don't have the same enthusiasm.
It's still kind of odd to me about how drastically my life has changed in such a short time. One year ago, I was thinking: "Me? Fly a plane?? Maybe...". One year previously, it wasn't even on the radar and would have been closer to "There's no way I could ever fly a plane". Now my line of thinking is "Go flying? When???". It's so weird... yet at the same time, it's so weird to think there was a time where aviation didn't even have a place in my life.
Anyways, I could write about aviation all day. I guess in thinking back, I've realized that even though I'm not currently where I want to be, I have still come a long way. I guess that's still something worth celebrating. ;)
For now, I need to get back studying so I can go flying sooner rather than later. On the agenda for tonight: finishing up the lesson 6 videos! Also, I need to do a bit of cleaning for the pet sitter because the C-17/USS Yorktown trip is 3.5 weeks from tomorrow!!!
Regardless of where I'm supposed to be or not supposed to be, one year ago today I took a leap... and discovered I could fly. And that's all that matters. =^.^=
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