The Paulding air show was today. I figured it would be good for me to get out and enjoy the last air show of the year, even though I was still grumbly. Actually, this morning I woke up sad, as I dreamed about airplanes last night. I wished for every part of my being that things were different. But wishes aren't reality unfortunately.
None of my friends could go to the air show, so I was going solo today. No biggie. I do it all the time. I've got my chair, got my aviator's - I'm happy. I found a nice spot near the flight line and after a bit, I got up to walk around. A nice aerobatic performance started, so I grabbed some food and returned to my seat.
I heard my name called as I was about to sit down and one of the CAP members I was friendly with, happened to be sitting next to my chair. We watched the show together and then left when it was over. He mentioned how other people from our squadron were here also.
I started one last walk around before they closed up the air show. Lo and behold, one of the first groups I ran into were the CAP guys. I recognized one guy from some of the meetings, said hello, shook his hand, and asked how he liked the show. The commander of the squadron was there too and turned around at our exchange. I said hello to him and shook his hand as well.
"Aren't you ever going to return to the squadron?", he suddenly asked angrily.
Where the hell did that come from?!?! I'm actually planning to transfer, but told myself I wouldn't discuss this here. We're at an air show, for god's sakes, and surrounded by other senior members and cadets. Have some decorum, man.
So I offer a noncommittal "maybe". I don't want to discuss this at the air show, especially in front of so many people. I like to think I have class and manners... unlike my "friend".
Then he goes crazy and launches into about how our Wednesday meetings aren't sanctioned and we need to attend actual CAP meetings once a month or we'll be grounded. So we can choose to be grounded or transfer. Besides, we were wearing CAP uniforms at the meetings and it wasn't a CAP event, blah blah.
I didn't know what to say. There's a hundred different things I could say that I'll say here, but there's no way I'm saying them with cadets and other members staring me down. I said "okay", said a polite goodbye and left.
First, Merlin got permission for those meetings. Second, don't give me an ultimatum; you won't like what I choose. Third, I'm an adult, don't talk to me like that. Fourth, we're at an air show; don't bring this crap up here, especially in front of people. Fifth, you want people to come to your meetings? Don't make them a waste of my time. Sixth, we aren't wearing uniforms there. Sometimes some members have a flight just beforehand. Seventh, I was at your meetings about 2 weeks ago.
Air shows are like my church. It's sacrilegious to have confrontations at them. Don't piss me off at a place/event I love so much. Obvious the "commander" isn't an Oshkoshian. Altercations at an air show would be taboo for them. So he successfully made an air show - one of my favorite things in the world - a horrible experience. I know I shouldn't let him get under my skin, but he did.
I was shaking after the incident. Mostly from rage. I nearly turned around to give him a piece of my mind, but just decided to walk away. Cadets were surrounding him and he wasn't worth it, honestly.
I paced around like an angry tigress. What could I do? I texted Merlin. Not optimal, but the only option I had. Stupid CAP. Didn't want to call him because I was seconds away from yelling or crying, but he called me. He told me to write everything in an email to him and he'd contact the person above him. I'd like to write him myself, in addition to Merlin and I think I'm going to anyways. There's no excuse for this type of behavior, especially from a 60+ year old man, as the commander is. Why don't you communicate with people to find out why they aren't coming and try to fix it rather than threatening them? Grow up and learn how to communicate. As one friend once said - it's sad when a girl who sleeps with stuffed animals and likes cartoons, like me, is the most mature person in the room.
CAP looks so good from the outside. Why can't you boys play nice? Why do you have to be like this? I was so angry earlier that I was letting out strings of cuss words I never say. Now they are just breaking my heart. I miss Oshkosh. I want to go home. Home, where everyone respect each other and got along.
Merlin says I'm grounded anyways until this is solved. He says I'm too stressed out and people can't fly when going through that much stress. You fool - I said I wanted to be left alone for 2 weeks, I said I wanted to stay away from CAP!!! Instead of being caught in the middle, I'm now their target. Leave me alone, all of you. I'm sick of it. I have studying to do and videos to watch. Go play your little boy game somewhere else - I've got too much to do.
Merlin called, said they'd start things tonight and let me know in the morning. I don't think I'll sleep much tonight. I hate CAP so so very much right now. Why - you who brought me so much joy. Why?? I hate that it bleeds over into aviation. How can something good be so bad? Why do you boys not realize that it's fake?? It's not your personal game and those titles that you let go to your head are FAKE!!!!!! It's supposed to be fun dammit! Why do you not realize that??
Geez... I should have kept walking at that air show, kept my head down and hoped they didn't see me. Anyways, I'm off to bed. Hoping to get a good night's sleep to make me feel better. Maybe things will look up in the morning.
I'm not an aggressive person and I don't wish ill will towards anyone, but I hope the commander gets his ass handed to him. He deserves it.
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