"You must do that which you think you cannot do"

Another CAP meeting last night. It was ground school about mountain flying for the pilots. They said anyone could go, and although it's a little advanced for me, I still thought it would be good. Granted, A LOT of the material was over my head and they went a little fast for me. Even though there were about 30 or so guys in the room, I need to get back to the point where I feel comfortable again raising my hand when I don't understand something. The intimidation factor is overwhelming sometimes, especially with a larger, unfamiliar group and knowing they were alllll pilots.

They had some good information for Mission Observers, too, so I'm glad I went. Once again, they reminded us that the Mission Observer is in charge of the mission. The pilot is just there to fly the plane and focus on safety. Being in charge makes my palms sweat, but I need to get over it and just step up.

Speaking of Mission Observer, the next SAREX (Search & Rescue Exercise) is February 2nd. I need to email one of the guys with the last 3 sign-offs I need and he promises me that they'll make sure I'll have the opportunity to do them. Which means, I need to power-up that G1000 sim on my computer again and practice ahead of time. I want my rating.

In other CAP news, I've also been added on the schedule to handle the (ground) radios by myself on certain nights. This, too, makes me nervous... Radios make me nervous to begin with, but having to handle them on my own especially so. Wow... this whole entry is about doing new things and taking on new responsibilities that make me sweat, huh? Didn't intend for it to be... Anyways, about the radios, I'm not up until the end of February, so between then and now, I need to shadow others who are doing it so I know what to do. Being nervous is okay, just as long as you don't let it stop you. Eleanor Roosevelt said the quote I wrote in the title of this entry - "You must do that which you think you cannot do" and that's what I plan to do.

And on that note, I need to step up my search for a new instructor or flight school. I've let my apprehension hold me back for too long. This lil birdie needs her wings!

The other day, one of my friends said she knew why I viewed aviation as a sort of spiritual experience - you must believe in the impossible and learn to trust something you cannot see (the wind or flying IFR). I don't believe anything is "impossible" and constantly prove to myself that the "impossible" is possible. However, that being said, the odds of becoming a pilot are stacked against you - only 20% make it. Pilots make up less than 1% of the world's population. So I guess in that sense, it appears to be impossible odds of making it. The most important pillar of spirituality - faith. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, and in fact, have veered a little off the path, but I need to have faith that I will make it there.

All that I need to do is start by doing things I don't think I can do. Like taking initiative and finding a new instructor.