Oshkosh Airventure 2012 - Pt. 1

It's hard to believe a year ago I didn't even know something like this existed. I was listening to live.atc.net for the ATC broadcasts to help with my communication skills in the plane. Usually I listened to JFK, as the transmitions were back-to-back-to-back. However, I looked on the list to see the most listened to transmistion and it said "Oshkosh, WI" and it was more than double the listeners that JFK had on their best day. My curiousity was peaked - why would a little town in WI suddenly have a sharp peak in listeners? So I tuned in to find out they were having an air show... and it continued each day that week. No WAY!!! A week long air show?!?! I listened to the broadcast intently (and with growing envy each day), thinking to myself, "I MUST go here one day!!"

One of the transmitions I heard that first day caused me to burst out laughing in my office:

"Oshkosh Tower, 123 Alpha Bravo, 15 miles to the NE, inbound for landing"

"123 Alpha Bravo, negative, unable."

"Unable? Should I go around?"

"Negative. Unable to land"

"Unable to land?? Why the hell can't I land???"

Slight pause.... "Um... because there's an airshow, sir"

"Oh.... okay then."

Not exactly how it went, but close enough. I had never heard them speak over the radios like that before and I laughed sooo hard. How did he not see an air show going on beneath him??

I wanted so very badly to go, but I wasn't sure how I'd go about doing that. I had never been on a roadtrip with friends before or anything like this... and Oshkosh, WI was so very far away from Atlanta, GA. But I thought about how I didn't want to be sitting in my office chair listening in absolute envy by the time the next one rolled around. So I thought about what would be my first step in accomplishing all of this if I was going to accomplish it? Step 1 - take off time from work. Afterall, if my boss said "no", then at least I tried. And if he said yes and I didn't make it, I could use that week off for something else. Easy peasy.

Step #2 - researching. This was probably the hardest part of the whole thing. Once I got up there, where would I stay? Camping looked like the cheapest option from their website... and the website mentioned about how it was the best place to connect with the aviation community. Okay, so that's settled. So that meant I needed a tent and a sleeping bag (at the very least). Second part was how I was going to get up there - fly (Commercial or private), bus, train, or drive (w/ friends or self). I tracked commercial flights from 6 months out, and they were too expensive all the way. Plus, then the logistics added in of getting from the airport to Oshkosh. Maybe I'd have to rent a car on top of everything... and then figuring out bus schedules/times if they had them...

I hesitated buying the ticket, wondering what if I didn't make it up there? About 3 months before the show, I bit the bullet and did it. Whether I made it up there or not, it was the first step and needed to be taken care of before the prices went up. And in the off chance, I didn't make it up, the cost was minimal. I must have gazed at that ticket for hours after I bought it, knowing quite well how Charlie felt while looking at his golden ticket in Charlie in the Chocolate Factory. Things were coming together and maybe... just maybe, I might pull this off.

Next step was buying the camping spot and all of my camping gear. It started to become very real at this point. Only thing left was transportation, albeit an important step. I'd crawl up there if I had to. It was the only thing left and I was making sure that by hell or highwater, I was making it up there. I'd gaze at a map of the US, my eyes drifting from GA to WI, wondering if I'd really see it with my own eyes. Wondering if I could actually do this.

Well, original transportation was going to be flying up with Merlin... and it fell through. I had some friends going up, so I asked them if I could drive up with them. No go. It suddenly hit me two weeks out that if I was going to make it up there, I was driving myself up. Alone. Now this might not seem like such a big deal... but the longest I had ever driven myself in a car was probably about 2 hrs. I had never done a road trip by myself and the longest road trip I had ever gone on was 4 hrs to Huntsville with a friend. I'll admit, I was scared. But my reaction wasn't "oh well, maybe I'll go next year", but instead "oh well, guess I'm doing this" (which surprised the hell out of me).

I rented a car - a cute little Nissan Versa, and my budget for the trip exploded. It was okay, although unexpected at the time. So I planned as much as I could and even planned for contingencies. I was as ready as I could ever be, although my heart was beating so fast. I remember sitting up the night before I left, wondering once again if I could actually do this, and thought that I loved driving and had at least been to the border of Georgia before. So I'd hop in the car, turn on some music and just drive till I saw Tennessee and if at any point, I felt uncomfortable, I could turn around to come home. No pressure...and I knew I could at least get a refund for the camping spot.

So 6am the following morning, I took off with this mindset. But by the time I saw Tennessee, I was energized, thinking "I'm doing it, I'm really doing it!!!!!!", and wanted to know how far I could go. Typical runner mindset. :)

I saw things I had never seen before and saw thing I wish I could have stopped for. My mom, in typical worried mom fashion, called every 2 hours... I also called her frequently. Talking to her and friends really broke up the monotony. It made me smile later in the afternoon, when Da Vinci texted me, "I told my zombie friends what you were doing and they said you're impressive. :D". She was doing a zombie pub walk that day that I had also wanted to go to.

In Indianapolis, I saw graffiti on the side of a building that said "YOU GO, GIRL!" and it made me smile ear-to-ear.

My boss was nice enough to lend me a GPS for my trip and that was a life-saver. Although now, if I were to take off for WI, I know the way without one.

One thing that tickled me was about how the music on the radio would change, based on where in the country I was. We have one Christian radio station here in Atlanta, and that number increased the further north I got. Indiana greeted me with polka music on the radio. At one point, I think in Kentucky/Indiana, all I could get was religious music, polka music and country music. Blah. I knew I was in a big city (finally) when a hip hop music station popped up just outside of Chicago.

Speaking of Chicago, I became energized the closer and closer I got to WI. Hitting Chicago and seeing Wisconsin signs for the very first time was absolutely magical. I knew I was in the home-stretch then, just 3 more hours to go.

There was a song I kept hearing over and over on the ride up there - "Lights" by Ellie Golding. One of the lyrics says:

"You show me the lights that stop me turn to stone,
you shine them when I'm alone,
and so I tell myself that I'll be strong,
dreaming when they're gone.
Cuz they're calling, calling, calling, calling me home.
Calling, calling, calling home."

I knew it was getting to be dark when I'd be arriving, so this kind of connected because I'd be seeing Oshkosh's lights. And they'd be kind of calling me in like a beacon. Around Chicago is when I started feeling it - feeling Oshkosh and WI calling me, pulling me in... like they were calling me home. Each time I heard it after, it only made that draw stronger... and kind of strengthened me.

Dunno if I've mentioned it, but I was born in Madison, WI. However, my parents and I left when I was 6 months ago. This trip wasn't only for the airshow, but also a chance for me to finally see where I was born. I'd get weird looks from people when I told them this, but it was important for me. It was a chance to cross something off my "Bucket List" and to see where I came from.

I finally arrived by 9pm, Central time. Unfortunately, I came in the opposite way and there were no signs for the camping area. I wandered around for about an hour before I found it. I asked 3 people, who sent me in 3 different directions and I was exhausted. So close, yet still so far. Finally I found where I needed to go, found my friends (on the corner of 14th and Lindburgh) and set up my tent by car headlight. I set up only the basic things - tent & sleeping bag - and figured I could do the rest in the morning. Everyone I called or texted that day wanted to make sure I got in safely, so I made sure to do that too. The only person I did was my pilot pen pal friend. He told me to text him when I got settled, but 10pm seemed to late. I would have to text him in the morning.

It was a hot night and I was delighted to find a "window" (lol a upzippable flap) in the side of my text. I unzipped it and slept on top of my sleeping bag, thankful I had the foresight to bring a sheet as well. I fell asleep, looking up at the stars... which I could see because it was almost completely dark outside due to no city lights around.

I awoke to full sun the next morning. Wow... how long did I sleep?? I didn't set an alarm because I needed my rest, but still wanted to get up at descent hour to experience everything. I rolled over and grabbed my watch - 5:30am. NO WAY! I looked outside... the light made it look like 8 or so. The hell with that. I put on my eyemask (which I also had the foresight of bringing) and turned back over for some more sleep.

Later, the light outside burned so intensely that I could see it through the mask. It had to be at least 10am. I took the mask off and looked outside - the sun was high in the sky. Yep, around 10... or maybe 9, seeing how the sun obviously rose earlier here.  Checked watch. Wrong. 6:30am. Oh well... with a "if you can't  beat them, join them" attitude, I got my stuff together for a trek to the showers.

I used to go camping with my parents when we'd go to Maine in the summer. My mom would always wake me at 5:30 because by 7am, the line would be out the door for the showers and they'd be dirty. I only hoped that was not the case here. Also, in Maine, you would have to pay $0.25 for 5 minutes of shower time. I also hoped that was not the case... especially since I did not have quarters. Fortunately, the showers were free (a fact I gleefully told my mom when I called her that morning) and there were plenty. I never saw a line out the door the entire time I was there.

I walked down the row of showers and a spray came out of one of the stalls, getting me drenched and providing me with a sight no one should see at all, let alone that early in the morning. Note to self: angle my body in the shower so that does not happen to me. So, I started to go into the first shower, but it looked broken, so I went to the next. Same thing. And ditto with the next two. It was not broken, but there was no faucet. Just a spray nozzle hung down from the ceiling - the same time you spray your dishes with at the sink at home. No hot, no cold, just one temperature for all of them. The pressure coming out of it could have properly cleaned an elephant.

"Refreshed" (I kid, the showers did actually turn out to be quiet refreshing after a hot day), I walked back to my camping spot. My friends were awake and I greeted them happily. I asked if they had used the showers, to which one of them replied: "I don't believe I've ever pressured washed myself before". It was quite possibly the best description of the experience in the showers you could possibly get.

After talking and getting some breakfast, we had planned to walk around the air show. They were still setting up, but let people in to wander around. We needed to get orintented with our new surroundings afterall. It was only 8:30am... possibly still too early to text my friend. I could hardly sit still and tried my best to wait until 10am to text him. Needless to say, I was unsuccessful and only hoped when I finally waited out until about 9:15 to text him, that I did not wake him. I cannot tell you how hard it was to wait that long. This brought back memories of waiting and staring at presents on Christmas morning. He wrote back, welcoming me to Oshkosh and said he'd be over around 10am. We had left some things at the campsite, so walked back to grab them before heading into the air show. This is consquently when I also learned that our campsite was about a mile from the air show itself.

Grrr. I'm trying to think of a callsign for him, but can't think of the right one!! I NEVER have this problem, normally they jump out at me. I was thinking "Gunner" because he's like a brother to me now and he builds planes, so BB reminded me of BB Gun (and he shoots too) and then Gunner. But it doesn't seem quite right although he might just get stuck with it anyways because I can't think of anything else.

To Be Continued...

Respect

A month ago tomorrow Oshkosh ended. I still need to update about it, but one story from my adventure I'll share now because it has to do with events that occurred last night.

One of the first panels I went to at Oshkosh was an American F-4 pilot, Gen. Dan Cherry, and a Vietnamese MiG pilot, Hong My Nguyen, who were friends after trying to kill each other in war. Gen. Cherry very nearly succeeded, shooting the wing off of the MiG and causing Hong My to parachute out. Gen. Cherry wonders if the other pilot survived, and 30 years later they met  face-to-face. The meeting results in them becoming friends. If that wasn't amazing enough, Hong My needs an interpreter to speak English. They have a language barrier between them and they still became close friends!!

I was sitting there, listening to their story in awe and admit I got a little misty-eyed. Hong My says through his interpreter that they were never enemies; just soldiers on separate sides of the war. Can you imagine that??? Someone tries to shoot you down and you barely escape with your life and decades later, you have the maturity and wisdom to move past it because you realize it wasn't personal. Wow... just wow... It certainly speaks volumes about his character. Not many of us have that kind of insight and clarity.

As I was sitting there listening to their remarkable story, I was just blown away by Hong My's overall positive attitude. I started thinking that if these two guys can get past their differences after this and become close friends, then the rest of us should be embarrassed for the petty differences that we let drive us apart. People drop each other from facebook because of a political disagreement. Grown people get into one another's faces over something as simple as a miscommunication. Shame on all of us. If these two men can become friends, then we have no excuses for our behavior. If they can get along, then why can't we?

I describe Oshkosh as paradise and I'm not exaggerating. While I was there, someone said there was rumored to be a million people in attendance. I just looked up the actual figures that were released not too long ago - 508,000. 1/2 a million. Regardless, still a big number in such a small place.

So for one week, 508,000 people got along in harmony. I'm sure there had to be arguments/disagreements, but if there were, I never saw them. One of the things I miss the most and find the hardest to let go of was how everyone treated each other with respect. We all came from different places (states, countries), came from different backgrounds, were involved in the aviation world in different ways, had different ages, different genders, & different colors. There were 1st years, like me, and there were people who had been there since the beginning. You had the Homebuilders, the Warbirds, the Experimentals, and the Ultralights. There were other student pilots like me, CFI's, professional airline guys, weekend flyers, aerobatic pilots, fellow air show groupies, military pilots, and probably much more I'm forgetting. And probably we each overlapped more than one of those categories. So many differences.... yet we all came together for one thing in common: aviation.

Suddenly none of those differences mattered. I was treated as an equal during my stay. One pilot told me that he was an engineer and used to think the best pilots were engineers, but then he came to Oshkosh and was proved wrong by the vast number of pilots who don't have an engineering background.

I spent time with homebuilders and aerobatic pilots, who treated me just like one of them. Why? "Because I would be one of them" was one of their responses.

We had our differences (I'm sure), but they never came up. We were able to come together because of our love for one thing and differences didn't matter. It's how strangers became like family in the mere span of one week. People smiled and said "hello" when you walked past them. It was so easy to strike up conversations with people - you were always sharing a seat with a random person on the bus or sharing a picnic table at lunch with new people. We had the best ice breaking questions in the world - "Where are you from?", "Did you fly or drive here?", "Are you a pilot?". The area was as clean as a golf course because people picked up a piece of trash if they saw it on the ground; didn't matter if it belonged to them or not. Everyone was equal. We concentrated on what brought us together, rather than what tore us apart.

Something happened to me while I was there. I built an intolerance for people fighting. I never particularly liked fighting, but I loved politics and would jump into the fray when people got into heated debates. For some reason, it hurts my ears now. If someone tries to engage me in a fight or create unnecessary drama, I walk away. If someone is fighting around me and tries to pull me in, I walk away. Simple as that.

I guess I always tolerated it because I thought it was human nature to fight. Sure peace would be nice in a perfect world, but it couldn't exist because our nature as humans was to fight since we were just so different. Oshkosh taught me differently - 508,000 people living in respectful harmony for 8 or 9 days. I'm not idealistic enough to think it would last permanently if Oshkosh was 365 days a year... but why can't the rest of us at least try?

Unfortunately, I haven't enjoyed CAP since returning. I think part of it is the lack of equality there. I get it- I really do, they have titles and ranks, so of course it can't be "equal". But it bothered me a lot since returning and I felt there was something else that felt off. Last night (I won't go into too much detail), but it hit me what it was - not the titles or the ranks, but the respect. You can still have seniority over someone and keep the respect in tact. Everyone deserves respect regardless of rank or title.We're all volunteers who love aviation and want to help people. If that isn't enough to bring everyone together, I don't know what is.

Well, last night was a complete lack of respect. Involved a simple miscommunication that erupted into something much worse. It imploded from the inside out and the two guys who had the problem with one another pulled everyone else into the middle of it, which I did not appreciate. I almost feel we've never graduated from the sandbox on the playground and one kid is crying because another smooshed his sand castle. Geez... c'mon now. I've got way too much to do with my own goals and studying to waste time on pettiness like that.

You guys know how much I love CAP. I've met so many great people and have learned so much since joining. I couldn't figure out why I was unhappy there since coming back from Oshkosh. Part of the reason I missed last week's meeting to go off to the EAA meeting was to take a small break from them. I didn't want to hate them, so figured a small break would help. I was happy to find out it was just what I needed and I was ecstatic to return this week. In addition this week, my computer had died and I was a little sick, but still had managed to stay on schedule and accomplished a lot with regards to aviation and CAP training. I was on top of the world and practically skipped off to the meeting. My goals were finally coming together and I got the feeling that I might actually make it. That, by the way, is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

Then I got to the meeting, not feeling very respected by what occurred and not feeling well to top it all off... and well, I'm now contemplating taking a few weeks off. Who knows if it has settled down, so might as well back off for a bit to let things settle before returning back. I've gotten to the point where I don't care who is "right" and who is "wrong"; you are both wrong for fighting and disrespecting each other.

On another note -Not so much aerospace related, but I've started taking classes on Khan Academy and having an absolute blast! I've learned that learning things makes me happy. Looks like this website will help towards two of my short term goals, too!

Anyways, that's all for now. Glad to finally have a computer back! Yikes- we're heading into the last week of August next week!!! I wanted to shoot for my written about the 1st week of September... guh...

In a galaxy far, far away...

Guess who just finished the Officer Basic Course? THIS GIRL!!!!!!!   20 days, 3 modules, and about 40 lessons. Not as big as passing my written with flying colors, but am still pretty stoked. :)

I've been training and studying like a demon lately and it's been going pretty well. Even considering my computer died at home (motherboard went out) and I've got a little chest cold, complete with cough and laryngitis. Pretty good to stay on top of everything (studying & physical training), especially with losing a computer and not feeling 100%. On a related note, if updates are more sparse than normal, lack of computer is why. I hope to have that remedied this weekend though (can't live w/o my computer!).

Merlin and I had 3 hr ground school study session together Saturday evening. Overall, I'd say it was productive, for the most part. Still a little mad over some things that were said, but oddly enough, the night before, I had a dream about the whole situation:

I had had enough. In the last two weeks, my car had broken down and my computer had just broken down. There were many days that I just wanted to walk out at work because I was frustrated and even CAP wasn't fun anymore. So I just took off - back to WI. Hopped into the car and didn't look back. Of course my car couldn't handle the journey, so it broke down on the way there. I didn't care - I was going to make it there any way possible, so I got out of the car and walked the rest of the way there.

The sun was rising when I arrived. It was the most beautiful site I had ever seen. I was tired and exhausted, but I had finally made it back to my paradise. I fell to my knees and kissed the ground.

"What are you doing here?", came a voice behind me.

I turned around to see a Mother-type figure, dressed like a Grecian Goddess, shimmering in the sun. I knew instantly she was the Spirit of Oshkosh. Really she might have been WI, Oshkosh and Madison combined, as I called her "Madison". A Goddess-type, in any case. Her tone wasn't accusatory; more one of disbelief. I ran to her and hugged her fiercely, as tears ran down both of our cheeks.

"Don't get me wrong, I AM happy to see you, my daughter, but it is not your time to come back here yet. Why are you here?", she continued as she returned my intense hug.

I began to explain to her how homesick I've been and how everything had been going wrong since I returned to Atlanta. My home - my true home- was Oshkosh and I was never leaving again.

She took my face in her hands and looked deeply into my eyes. "I know how hard it is to miss someone you love; I've missed you for 30 years", she smiled sadly. "But you know that your place is in Atlanta, not here. I wouldn't have sent you back if I didn't think you could handle it. You must go back."

I shook my head like a little kid about to have a tantrum and said "No! I won't go back. My place is here, with you", and I started to cry. I stopped mid-sob and remembered something, which made me smile triumphantly. "Besides, I can't go back. My car broke down on the way here."

She smiled sadly. "I've already called for someone to take you home".

My mouth dropped open, searching her eyes... wondering how could she have--?

And that's when I heard the elevator ding behind me. The hair stood up on the back of my neck. We were outside at beautiful Oshkosh Airport, so the ding of an elevator sounded very ominous to me. It shouldn't have had a place there. She gazes towards the elevator and I follow her gaze. The elevator isn't apart of Oshkosh; it's the Death Star. The doors open... and Darth Vader walks out with two of the Emperor's guards.

I turn back to her with horror. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I WON'T GO WITH HIM!!"

She looks as me with pained eyes, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear in a motherly gesture. "You have to".

Darth walks up closer, but stops a few feet away still keeping his distance. He watches the whole scene impassively and doesn't say a word. The sound of his breathing is the only sound.

"BUT HE HATES ME!!!", I scream. Then giving him the most deadly glare I can muster, my voice falls to a whisper as I continue talking to the spirit, while looking at him, "And he hates you". I want her to realize the person he really is. Darth doesn't react at all and just continues breathing evenly, as though we both know who is going to win this battle.

Madison only laughs and hugs me, "My dear, you confuse hate with jealousy. He doesn't hate either of us". In true mother fashion, she turns my face around gently to look into my eyes. "No one who hates you would come all this way just to take you back home."

I looked out of the corner of my eye to gauge his reaction. Nothing. I looked back as Madison continued: "He is my child too, just like you, and that makes him your brother. Believe me, I wouldn't send you back with him if it wasn't what was best for you. "

She hugged me tightly once again, whispering "Time to go". I nodded and the tears started to flow again. She looked over the top of my head, directly at Darth as she hugged me and said, "This girl is very, very precious to me. Watch over her."

He nodded once without a word and turned in one quick movement to walk back to the elevator. He didn't hold out his hand to me or even look back to see if I was following. Madison released me and I fell in step on his left side.

~*~

I think this dream comes from a friend relating my aviation life to Star Wars. In any case, it helped a little and I was able to go to the study session with a smile on my face. It helped me understand my waking like a little bit better and helped me see it from a different POV - "evil" DV goes a long distance to bring back his sister who ran away, dispite being all "tough love" and stuff... and she's being a whiny brat, refusing to go back with him. It must have hurt even though he might not have reacted to the conversation, but it didn't mean he wasn't listening and it didn't affect him. Maybe DV isn't "evil"; just misunderstood.


On a semi-related note, being a Star Wars fan my entire life, it just now occurred to me that DV and Luke were both pilots. LOL

The following night after I had the dream, I swore I heard DV's breathing as I fell to sleep. It was strangely comforting and unnerving at the same time.

So far this week, I've completed a section in my textbook each night! Booyah! I'm feeling sooo warm fuzzy by everything I've been accomplishing lately and am on top of the world! Onwards and upwards!!

1st EAA Meeting

Just got back from my first EAA meeting. It was like visiting the Warbird camp at Oshkosh - ALLLLLL WWII pilots. Made for some interesting stories and one guy spoke about his A-4 training in the war. He was a Marine, so it reminded me of Grampie alittle and I started missing him.

At first, they left me alone for the first part, but after the talk, a few got curious and came over to talk to me. I dunno why I get so nervous at these things. I mean, I know it's intimidating at first, but my shy meter overflows and I can barely say a "meep".

I met the two guys who are building RV-7's and they said I can definitely help them. They all asked about my flight training and once again, get BIG reactions when I tell them what I'm training in. One guy said that it was a very difficult plane to start training in. Yeah, you are telling me... 

Overall, pretty good... but it just made me miss things more. I miss Grampie, I miss Oshkosh.  I even missed CAP a little, which is good, I guess... I'm halfway convinced I'm still gonna take off one of these days. Regardless, I need to start making big changes in my life, starting now.

I'm sleepy after yesterday, but I have 9 pages to read before I knock off for the night. Getting a scratchy throat, so I definitely can't go past 11pm tonight.

Cloud bursting!

My cloudy mood broke pretty quickly the other day. I went for my nap after updating and when I started to wake up, I had a puppy sitting on top of me. She continued to sit on me and squish me as I frowned grumpily at her. When that didn't work to snap me out of my mood, she pinned me and licked my face until I begged for mercy by bursting out into giggles. She hopped off of me and when I stood up, she herded me towards the door to make me take her on a walk. She didn't allow a normal walk either and took me on an extra long walk instead. I <3 my puppy. She probably just needed to go out and figured she wasn't going anywhere as long as I was in a bad mood.

So that helped alot, and then when I returned home, R2 had messaged me and said she saw my new pic on FB of me landing a plane and said I looked like a pro. That brought me up a bit more.

Btw, this is the picture in question:

*THIS* is what a perfect landing looks like! We were a little high at this point, as you can see the PAPI (little string of 4 lights off to the left of the runway) is 3 white and 1 red. It's okay because just after this picture was taken (Da Vinci managed to snap this pic), they turned to 2 white and 2 red, which is exactly where I wanted to be. Da Vinci also managed to get the instruments in there too and you can see the airspeed. I had to enlarge it to see the numbers better, but it's solidly on 80, which is exactly where I wanted to be! Fantastic picture! One of my new favorites!!

Anyways, THEN my aerobatic pilot pen-pal friend mentioned "flying" and "Atl" in the same sentence on FB! I felt that silly little cloud above my head go POOF! Pretty awesome. I've never had it disappear that quickly.

Later, Merlin called me to check up on me. I had sent him a message asking how to prevent getting so frustrated. I was torn between keeping silent and asking his advice. Could be wrong, but I don't think he tolerates weakness in others well and it's a pride thing on my end, so I didn't want to admit I had a problem. But on the other hand, maybe just maybe he knew about such frustrations and could help me handle it better next time. I really hate feeling so darn frustrated... and I'm sure people around me don't much care for it either. I get rather cranky to say the least. haha

So he called and wondered what on Earth I was so frustrated about. I told him about the 3 goals I had and said how it's unbelievably frustrating to be at where I was and have to go allllllll the way back to the beginning. He doesn't yet believe I was where I say I was, but he will; it'll come back, I know it will. He said my goals were good, but it was stupid not to tell him what they were ahead of time. I realized that before he had called. Maybe if I had told him, then he could have helped me to reach them. I kept them to myself because, again, a pride thing. I wanted to do this myself. "We're on the same side", he said.

I guess maybe I still have lingering trust issues because of Bambi and Tyson? I dunno... and in any case, I need to let all of that crap go. All of that took me much, much further down than I ever realized. I nearly let it destroy me and my dream. Considering aviation is easily the love of my life, I need to guard it more closely to my heart than that. I can never, ever let it go like that again, never ever. Or let someone else tear me down like that ever again.

But his talk helped. He said the instructor/student relationship was kind of like a psychiatrist/patient relationship. haha For sure, because I definitely lost my mind once I jumped down that aviation rabbit hole. Merlin pointed out that he was exactly where I am now. Which is true... to an extent, but circumstances are different a little. Although isn't that how it always is? Someone tells you that they know how you feel and you doubt it, thinking you are alone in your journey.

I asked if maybe I had too many goals, and he said yes and no. Yes, because I need to focus on one aspect and get it down cold. No, because it's good to have goals in mind each flight and mine weren't too lofty. (haha lofty goals - all pilots should have lofty goals)

No studying tonight because I had to clean up for the pet sitter. I think it went well, at least I hope it did. I can't believe the Yorktown trip is in 2 weeks and 3 days!!!!!!!! I'MSOEXCITED!!! I mentioned how some of the other CAP members were telling me that it's supposedly haunted, right? So I was popping around like a jackrabbit, telling Da Vinci all excitedly while Merlin was listening off at the side. He shakes his head and says that it's not really haunted; people just tell you that to get more visitors. Silly Merlin - he STILL doesn't understand why this trip is soooo exciting and important to me. He says it takes too much time away from my studying and my goal to become a pilot because it doesn't really contribute anything to it. True, but it's fun and it's an amazing experience!!

 

Also, I printed out a copy of the picture I posted above and posted it in my office. I tell the story behind the picture to everyone who comes in. It also neat because I get to teach them a little bit as I'm doing so. It's amazing how many people don't know about the PAPI system!!! (lol but then again... neither did I before all this craziness started) So I tell them about how the lights tell me if I'm too high, too low or whatever. Everyone thinks that's pretty cool. One of my co-workers said "So someone sits up in the tower and flashes different lights as you come down?". lol noooooo (although I thought that too at first). Then I was showing them the instruments and how I could tell from the picture about how high I was and what speed we were flying. One of my fellow teachers said "Wow, do you really have to watch all of those instruments?? I don't know how you do that, but I know I couldn't watch 3 at once!!". lol Noooo, try again, there's a lot more than 3. So I showed him a full picture online of the instruments in the DA-40 G1000 and it just blew his mind!

Anyways, I need to get to sleep soon. I bought my ticket for Oshkosh and I look at it about once per day, as though it was Charlie's golden ticket or something. I'm getting a hat and t-shirt too. Know the little kids that wearing superhero costumes around months after Halloween and refuse to take them off? Yeah... that's probably going to be me with the Oshkosh hat and t-shirt. lol And you think I'm kidding... ;)

AIRVENTURE!

I'm not embarrassed to say I've watched this video three times and I don't think my eyes could get wider or my heart beat any faster while doing so. This looks ah-mazing! I CAN'T wait!