Saturday, August 4, 2012

Tailspin

I think I was mistaken that I fell down from paradise into reality. This isn't reality; I feel down some random alternate dimension rabbit-worm hole or something... People are fighting over poultry for godsakes!! This can't be real. I'm having a hard enough time being back here as it is and ALL of you are not making this easier for me. Between the Cluckers and the Pro T-SPLOSTers, I want to run away with my tent (and my animals) and never come back to civilization again. As a person who used to get such a charge out of politics, I'm tired of all the fighting. Guess I was spoiled by one dramamedia-free week. Actually, I think I built an intolerance for it. Before, I mistakenly thought that perhaps it was just a human trait to disagree and argue about things. Now I know it's NOT a natural part of being human, nor should we accept it as such. Now when people start their "You have enough disposable income to fly? Why don't you give that to someone who needs it?", I just walk away. I'm not dealing with that crap anymore and it's not worth arguing about. I think my guiding light needs to be "WWOD?" - "What Would Oshkoshians Do?". Not that I know what they'd do in an argument, as I didn't come across any while I was there.

Another blow came the other day - Merlin thinks aerobatics are a mistake right after getting my license. He thinks one should get instrument and commercial out of the way first. Considering that was perhaps only of the only reasons that got me on the road back to Atlanta. (Arg, started to type "home" and it didn't sound right anymore...so I erased it and wrote "Atlanta". - sigh-) I knew I wasn't getting any book studying done while I was up there, so I knew I had to return to push the pedal to the metal to get my license. Aerobatics was propelling me to work harder and finish (plus for the fact that I hated telling everyone "not yet" all week at Oshkosh when they asked if I had soloed or had gotten my license yet).

But I'm not totally blinded by my love for aerobatics and I'm only a baby pilot, so maybe Merlin knew something I didn't. The aerobatic guys told me the best time was right after my private pilot checkride, so why would Merlin think differently? He's already corrected a few things that the last flight school told me incorrectly, so maybe it's worth getting his insight. After all, if I'm going to do this, I'll need his help. But all he said was that "no CFI would want his name in your logbook if you do aero before IFR and COM". He said everyone had their own agenda, which I guess is why the aerobatic pilots told me what they did. He mentioned something about risk management, which I totally get. I'm still fairly new to all this stuff compared to everyone else. If something isn't safe or you don't think I'll be safe doing it, TELL ME!!! I'd much rather prefer someone temporarily disappointing me with:

"Look, I know you are excited by this but you need to slow down or you'll get hurt. I don't think it's a good idea and you'll be much better prepared by doing XYZ. I'd much rather you be safe than anything else. I'm sorry because I know how much this means to you. You'll get there, but I don't feel that a few months from now is the best time" (which I'm halfway convinced he meant)

Rather than: "Maybe Greg Koontz can do your PPL for you?" (which he said). All of this was typed in a message over FB, so I don't know if it was joking around or what... I hate not having tone of voice in messages, so maybe I'll talking to him in person and see.

After that, I had to go to a Braves game with my students. I spent a good portion of the night seriously thinking about if I could survive Wisconsin's winters. It doesn't help it's everywhere I look - Madison, Oshkosh, Wisconsin... This can't be normal.

The only thing that keeps my feet planted now is "It's not like that 51 weeks out of the year, it's not like that 51 weeks out of the year". I've felt the urge to bolt at least a half dozen times in the last week. I thought maybe CAP on Thursday would help knocking me out of this mood, as I normally look forward to it all week. Nope, nada. Just more people nitpicking at one another about politics...and I was once again looked at as a female baby pilot.

Do you know what I didn't realize until I got home? Differences were embraced, not pointed out. Not once did I get "But you are female" or "You are so young!" or "You are just a student pilot". My gender, age and status were never mentioned. It didn't matter. A few times, I'd say "But I'm just a student pilot" and it was waved off. The responses I got in return? "I keep forgetting you are a student" or "But you will be one of us". I'm not kidding when I tell you that I liked hanging out with the aerobatic pilots and the homebuilders because they treated me like one of them. They were all guys and all older than me, and those facts never crossed my mind the whole week. You know how much I love the CAP, but it's still very much a boys' club. Of course we have ranks and everything, so there's a chain of command and whatnot, but I don't like so much being *just* a student pilot again. It's like how I was treated at the flight school - "You are a new pilot, so you don't know what you are talking about. Trust us; we know what's best for you". I really resent that. Sure I may be new and I don't doubt other more seasoned pilots know a lot more than I do. But I read alot and I do know what I want. Give me advice, help me reach a more informed decision. Don't tell me I'm flat out wrong and you know what's best for me. I don't react to that type of treatment very well. Or getting called "groupie" in front of everyone else, like it was something to be ashamed of, like I wasn't actually serious about all of this. I've mentioned before, that yes, I AM an air show groupie and I'm quite proud of it. There's no reason to be ashamed of it.. But to be dismissive of that and look down on me a bit because of it is uncalled for. I know by now that I'm an unusual student pilot and if I just so happen to be an air show groupie on top of it all, then perhaps it's not such a bad thing. Again, too much is focused on our differences... and not nearly enough attention is given to what makes us alike.

Bottom line? Cluckers, T-SPLOSTers and Members of the Pilot Boys' Club: I'm having a hard enough time re-adjusting as it is, please stop trying to chase me off. I have wings (in a manner of speaking...) and I'm not afraid to use them. Oshkoshians: I need to hear from you, even if it's just a "hi!". I miss you... ALL of you, and perhaps hearing from you just might help me to feel better.

Okay, enough ranting. Dunno if I feel better or not. :/

Agenda for today - Basic Officer Training started for the CAP on Thursday, so I'm planning on getting 5 sections done today (it says they take 30 minutes per section, but I get through them quicker than that. Usually each section is 8-11 pages of reading, but a 10 question quiz that I could probably pass without reading. It's still fun anyways).

Also need to finish my questions from the chapter on reading charts and read the new chapter on Airspace. That will go perfectly with the videos I'm currently on. I stopped halfway through to prepare for my trip and the information is currently fuzzy at best. Did I mention I'd like to take my test Sept 1st or Sept 8th? I just want to get through a few more before I feel comfortable scheduling the test.

You know, I really have no idea if I can get all of this done by November or not. I'm not questioning faith or ability or anything like that. It's just a short amount of time. All I know is that if I AM going to make it, then I have to work really, really hard to do so. That much I do know. So that is what I'll do.

Anyways, R2 and I are going to see Batman tonight! She knew I wanted to see it too, so she waited until I got back. <3! She's also the first friend I'm seeing upon my return, so maybe that will help me a little too. All other crap aside, I'm lucky to have such good friends.
So if I need to get to studying if I'm going to make the movie tonight! Promise, promise, promise I'll update about Yorktown and Oshkosh soon!!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Cinderella After Midnight

On the studying agenda for tonight was finishing up questions from the chapter on airports and then just finished reading a chapter on aeronautical charts. I think I'm going to save the questions for tomorrow night, possibly. However, CAP's Basic Officer Course also begins tomorrow, as well as the CAP meeting, so we'll see how it goes getting the questions finished. I looked over them and started answering them in my head, although I prefer to break up the readings and questions for the same chapter because it seems to help all of the info stick in my head better that way. Geez I've got a lot of work to do... :/

My pilot buddies say the written test is pretty easy with just a little bit of study. Plus, it should be easier for me because I'm smart and because of my enthusiasm towards aviation. I know all of that is supposed to be complimentary, but at times it makes me feel only more frustrated. All of these pilots keep telling me this, yet I'm studying my butt off and progress is slow. Easy, my aileron. My friends tell me that I make all of this look easy, too, but trust me, it's not.

Anyways, the title of today's entry describes my current emotional state. Re-adjusting to life after Oshkosh is difficult. The clock struck 12, my white horses turned back into mice, and my carriage turned back into a pumpkin. I don't want to be here and I don't feel like I fit in my world anymore. Never anticipated that this could possibly happen. I feel almost homesick, if one could feel homesick for a place they only lived in for a week. It was paradise to me, and not only because of the airplanes - it was the people, too. I don't know if it was Wisconsin or just people coming together for their love of aviation, but I've never seen a huge group of people get along so well. While I was there, someone told me they reached record numbers - a million people supposedly walked through that gate this year. A million people. With one common interest. I met people from all around the world and the United States. I met fellow student pilots, aerobatic pilots, helicopter pilots, aviation enthusiasts, CFI's, and homebuilders. No one was better than anyone else. Sure, we had the good-natured ribbing between the rotors and fixed wing, but it wasn't serious. I'm just a student pilot, yet the homebuilders and aerobatic pilots treated me like one of them. None of this "But you are a girl" nonsense. People respected each other, no matter their background. They said "hi" when you walked past them. Strangers were treated like life-long friends and family. If there was trash on the ground, someone picked it up. Surely we must have had different viewpoints/opinions, but for that one week, it didn't matter. We bonded over something we all had in common, rather than focusing on our differences and ripping each other apart.

Yesterday in Georgia, we had a vote on T-SPLOST, which is basically asking for more money to repair the roads. It was shot down by a landslide. Why? Mostly because we have no money and people are tired of the government asking for more when they squander it. My co-workers were upset because they said we desperately needed better roads and a better transit system and it was a shame people voted it down. MARTA (our "transit system") sucks and throwing money at it won't help it. So anyways, the co-workers blamed the Tea Party ("The Party of No") for T-SPLOST failing. In that moment, I wanted to return to my week of harmony. Perhaps it's just that one event. Maybe the other 51 weeks out of the year, it's not like that. At least that's what I keep telling myself and it keeps me from running back there. I still haven't taken off my bracelet yet. I can't bring myself to do it and frankly, I don't want to. I'm holding onto that Oshkoshian Spirit for as long as I can.

I've decided that if I can't be in paradise, then I was going to work really hard to make my reality as close to paradise as I could.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Full Throttle

I am back from Oshkosh, one of the greatest adventures yet in my life thus far!! :)  I hope to have a write up on that, and Yorktown for that matter, posted in the near future.

For now, I had to mention just a few things that are in motion. If I ever thought that my fun would end after this summer, I was completely wrong!

Firstly, I learned so much at the air show and had a blast running around talking to people! I got to talk to a bunch of aerobatic pilots and bumped into one of my fav's while checking out his plane: Greg Koontz. Turns out he has an aerobatic school/bed & breakfast at his house in Alabama. IF I study really hard and get my license by November, I could be spending Thanksgiving being thankful for aerobatics! It's not free by any means, but still an amazing experience! Just means I have to start studying now and harder than I ever did before.

Want to know the strangest thing? I went back to look at pictures I took from my second airshow; my first time seeing him perform. Dated June 2011. My description underneath a picture of his plane read:



        "Greg Koontz's plane. Also flew in the show. Absolutely breath taking. If I ever become an aerobatic pilot, it'll be because of him. Have video of him too."

I only meant at the time that he might inspire me to do so in the future. Had no idea at the time how literal those words might become. If I succeed, then I will quite literally become an aerobatic pilot because of him.

Today at lunch, I tried to tackle calculating density altitude...without a whole lot of luck. But I've got to hang in there - this is one of the main things that propelled me to return to Atlanta. I did not  (and still do not) want to leave Oshkosh.

If that wasn't enough on my plate, once I recover financially, I plan to sign up for the Sparta 5k in the spring. Not really an aviation thing, but quite a big deal and will require lots and lots of training. It's another obstacle mud 5k... apparently one of the hardest.

And then tonight, I found out that one of the required courses (Officer Basic Course) I need for CAP will start Thursday night. I signed up awhile ago because I need it to pass my current level. The waiting list was long, so I put my name in awhile back and just waited. The second one, Squadron Leadership School, will have a session in October that I also need to sign up for.

So in the next few months, both money & time will be tight. If I drop off the face of the planet, that is why. I'd really like to make Oshkosh again next year, but in order to do all of these fantastic things, I need to budget like I've never budgeted before and study like I've never studied before. Then and only then will I reach heights that I've never reached before. :)

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Pretty Merry Muffins Fight Cutely

Ugggh, I do not feel well. :/

My ears hurt and I cannot hear well, and my throat hurts on top of it. I just feel run down and achy. I've fallen into a Catch-22: I have no energy so I'm falling behind on the things I need to get done and can't focus enough on the things I need to get done, but if I push myself to get everything done in time, I may just become even sicker. Ugh!

I had a freak-out moment this morning...and I'm not writing what my bad thoughts were, as to not jinx myself. But I calmed down, reminded myself that it's only Tuesday and I still have plenty of time to recover. Engine may be out, but I have altitude on my side and have a little bit of time to see if I can get it restarted. No need to panic yet.

Just read online that garlic oil is good for killing bacteria related to sinus infections and ear pain. Huh. I was craving it like mad last night... Awesome how the body knows what it needs sometimes.

Ok, onwards and upwards! PMMFC - "Pretty Merry Muffins Fight Cutely"!! ;)

Monday, July 16, 2012

Home Stretch - 5 days and counting

Oshkosh is coming up pretty fast. Hard to believe it's this weekend. I'm busily getting everything together, and as always, it seems there's just not enough time.

I finally finished all of the weight and balance questions (all 50!) today at lunch. It's quite a good feeling to finally be done with those! I'm also glad that I feel much more confident about calculating them now, so I'm thankful for all those problems, but it was like wading through mud to get through all of them. One more chapter done!!! I'm almost THERE!!!! Onwards to density altitude!

Thought I was over my sinus infection and finished my antibiotics a few days ago, but my left ear has been hurting really bad tonight...which means another call to the doctor tomorrow. I hate earaches. :/
But I want to feel well on my trip

The cravings to go flying have gotten really bad lately, too. Was so bad the other day, I pretended I was doing touch & go's in my car. I miss it immensely, and it gets so that being up in a plane isn't enough anymore; I have to have my hands on the wheel.

I'm going to try and do a few more things before bed to get ready for this weekend and have an early night. Why does pain in your ear make you feel icky all over? Blah. :(

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Stress!! 10 days and counting...

Stress doesn't even describe what I'm going through right now. Since Monday, time has flown by at warp speed. Now, don't get me wrong, I do want time to go fast because I cannot wait... but at the same time, I just have soo much that I need to do to get ready and to finish up at work before I leave that it's a bit stressful at the same time.

Stressful, yes, ... but gonna be worth it! :)  Just need to hold it together between now and then. I'm sooo tired! I stopped counting down because it was making the time go faster and then I was surprised to find out we were 10 days as of today. I've never done anything like this before and I'm a little nervous. There's sooo much planning involved! I had no idea just how much it took.

Had some last minute changes - looks like I'm driving up and renting a car. I thought about investing in a GPS, but my boss was nice enough to offer a spare one he had. On the plus side, I'll have enough room to bring my folding chair and have definite transport to Madison on Saturday. :)  Not sure if I'll feel much like driving 2 hours to Madison at that point, but I'll be THAT close!!! I can't miss it. But I know in any case, I'll be returning by early evening, I hear that a lot of planes will be landing at that point and how cool would it be to eat dinner while watching them land??

Just looked at the route on google maps and thought once again how I must be crazy. Normal people don't do things like this. Then again, ... normal people don't experience this kind of awesomeness either. ;)

Ok, back to work!

Sunday, July 8, 2012

T-Minus 2 weeks and Counting...

My update about the USS Yorktown trip is coming along. I'm halfway through. Just don't have a lot of time these days and not a lot of time to update. Soon, I promise.

Oshkosh preparations are coming along nicely. Found a master list of events online while looking for a map and it even allowed me to same the events I wanted to attend in my own itinerary. I have all 6 days planned! My aerobatic plane pen pal suggested that I take it easy because people get burned out easy, and I took his advice for Monday. By Tuesday, I had double booked myself a few times. By Thursday, I had 8 different things I wanted to see at once (I have since narrowed it down to 4).

Merlin has it completely wrong about how air shows don't further one towards their goal of wanting to fly! I'm going to learn soooooooo much at this air show!! Classes on how to prepare for the check-ride, survival seminars, forums on how to get good landings and the dangers of hypoxia. Plus, discussions with REAL Tuskeegee Airmen and WASPs!!!! And Sean D. Tucker will be preforming there PLUS has a forum later in the week about aerobatic flying!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

On Tuesday, there's a forum with Dick Rutan, who flew the Voyager around the world without stopping and without refueling in 1986. It broke lots of records and no one has been able to break them since. That's sounds sooooo neat to hear him talk about that!!! But this is where my first scheduling conflict occurs. At the EXACT same time, there's ANOTHER forum about an F-4 pilot and MiG 21 pilot who were fighting one another in the sky during a war. The F-4 pilot shoots down the MiG 21. 20+ some years later, they meet again and become friends. They wrote a book together about their experiences and will be there talking about it (with the planes!!!!!), with book signing after. Why you schedule them at the same time, Airventure???

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! TWO WEEKS FROM TOMORROW!!!!!!!!! Two weeks from TODAY I get to see Madison where I was born! It just occurred to me today that this was like summer camp!!! heheheh Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Another thing also occurred to me today. I've been wanting to do the Aviation Challenge in Huntsville and thought that maybe one day when I had oodles and oodles of money, I would because it costs about $500 to go. I'm going to easily exceed that for this trip... so why not? :)   Maybe that'll be my "summer camp" next year.

Oshkosh planning dinner meeting tomorrow night with two people I'm going up with. More packing, more cleaning, more studying. I've really got to focus at work this week - I'm overly excited and still need to somehow squeeze 3 weeks of work (plus moving the kiddies over to new dorms) into two weeks.

Btw, I have a pilot call sign now - Squee. No..that's actually my name: "Squee". Wasn't too crazy about it at first, but it's grown on me. I have a sign above my desk at work with a chibi Darth Vader eating chocolate chip cookies and says "Do not underestimate the power of the Squee". (Btw, I have a "Squee" t-shirt on its way and I'm totally wearing it to Oshkosh!)

Okay, upwards and onwards! I have a lot of work ahead of me in the next two weeks. I can't believe it's FINALLY here!!!!!!!! One year ago, I heard about Oshkosh for the first time. I had no idea there could be such a thing. I listened to the ATC communications at my desk at work with absolute raging jealousy and asked my boss for this time off a year in advance so I could go the following year (this year!). I had no idea how I would do it, as I've never done a trip like this before. All I knew was that asking for the time off was the first step. So step by step, I planned and I researched to make it all come together and now it is here. Perhaps one of the greatest adventures in my life thus far... and it's happening in TWO WEEKS!!!

"Nothing's difficult; everything's a challenge!
Through adversity to the stars,
from the last plane to the last bullet,
to the last minute, to the last man,
We fight! We Fight! We FIGHT!!!"