So that helped alot, and then when I returned home, R2 had messaged me and said she saw my new pic on FB of me landing a plane and said I looked like a pro. That brought me up a bit more.
Btw, this is the picture in question:
*THIS* is what a perfect landing looks like! We were a little high at this point, as you can see the PAPI (little string of 4 lights off to the left of the runway) is 3 white and 1 red. It's okay because just after this picture was taken (Da Vinci managed to snap this pic), they turned to 2 white and 2 red, which is exactly where I wanted to be. Da Vinci also managed to get the instruments in there too and you can see the airspeed. I had to enlarge it to see the numbers better, but it's solidly on 80, which is exactly where I wanted to be! Fantastic picture! One of my new favorites!!
Anyways, THEN my aerobatic pilot pen-pal friend mentioned "flying" and "Atl" in the same sentence on FB! I felt that silly little cloud above my head go POOF! Pretty awesome. I've never had it disappear that quickly.
Later, Merlin called me to check up on me. I had sent him a message asking how to prevent getting so frustrated. I was torn between keeping silent and asking his advice. Could be wrong, but I don't think he tolerates weakness in others well and it's a pride thing on my end, so I didn't want to admit I had a problem. But on the other hand, maybe just maybe he knew about such frustrations and could help me handle it better next time. I really hate feeling so darn frustrated... and I'm sure people around me don't much care for it either. I get rather cranky to say the least. haha
So he called and wondered what on Earth I was so frustrated about. I told him about the 3 goals I had and said how it's unbelievably frustrating to be at where I was and have to go allllllll the way back to the beginning. He doesn't yet believe I was where I say I was, but he will; it'll come back, I know it will. He said my goals were good, but it was stupid not to tell him what they were ahead of time. I realized that before he had called. Maybe if I had told him, then he could have helped me to reach them. I kept them to myself because, again, a pride thing. I wanted to do this myself. "We're on the same side", he said.
I guess maybe I still have lingering trust issues because of Bambi and Tyson? I dunno... and in any case, I need to let all of that crap go. All of that took me much, much further down than I ever realized. I nearly let it destroy me and my dream. Considering aviation is easily the love of my life, I need to guard it more closely to my heart than that. I can never, ever let it go like that again, never ever. Or let someone else tear me down like that ever again.
But his talk helped. He said the instructor/student relationship was kind of like a psychiatrist/patient relationship. haha For sure, because I definitely lost my mind once I jumped down that aviation rabbit hole. Merlin pointed out that he was exactly where I am now. Which is true... to an extent, but circumstances are different a little. Although isn't that how it always is? Someone tells you that they know how you feel and you doubt it, thinking you are alone in your journey.
I asked if maybe I had too many goals, and he said yes and no. Yes, because I need to focus on one aspect and get it down cold. No, because it's good to have goals in mind each flight and mine weren't too lofty. (haha lofty goals - all pilots should have lofty goals)
No studying tonight because I had to clean up for the pet sitter. I think it went well, at least I hope it did. I can't believe the Yorktown trip is in 2 weeks and 3 days!!!!!!!! I'MSOEXCITED!!! I mentioned how some of the other CAP members were telling me that it's supposedly haunted, right? So I was popping around like a jackrabbit, telling Da Vinci all excitedly while Merlin was listening off at the side. He shakes his head and says that it's not really haunted; people just tell you that to get more visitors. Silly Merlin - he STILL doesn't understand why this trip is soooo exciting and important to me. He says it takes too much time away from my studying and my goal to become a pilot because it doesn't really contribute anything to it. True, but it's fun and it's an amazing experience!!
Also, I printed out a copy of the picture I posted above and posted it in my office. I tell the story behind the picture to everyone who comes in. It also neat because I get to teach them a little bit as I'm doing so. It's amazing how many people don't know about the PAPI system!!! (lol but then again... neither did I before all this craziness started) So I tell them about how the lights tell me if I'm too high, too low or whatever. Everyone thinks that's pretty cool. One of my co-workers said "So someone sits up in the tower and flashes different lights as you come down?". lol noooooo (although I thought that too at first). Then I was showing them the instruments and how I could tell from the picture about how high I was and what speed we were flying. One of my fellow teachers said "Wow, do you really have to watch all of those instruments?? I don't know how you do that, but I know I couldn't watch 3 at once!!". lol Noooo, try again, there's a lot more than 3. So I showed him a full picture online of the instruments in the DA-40 G1000 and it just blew his mind!
Anyways, I need to get to sleep soon. I bought my ticket for Oshkosh and I look at it about once per day, as though it was Charlie's golden ticket or something. I'm getting a hat and t-shirt too. Know the little kids that wearing superhero costumes around months after Halloween and refuse to take them off? Yeah... that's probably going to be me with the Oshkosh hat and t-shirt. lol And you think I'm kidding... ;)
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