Revelations

After a night of no sleep, crying and nightmares when I did manage to sleep, something occurred to me-

The little voice inside of me that encouraged me to be more adventerous, to try new things and to enjoy life with the enthusiasm of a child... the same voice that whispered for me to try everything from roller coasters to flying to ziplining... the one that insisted and persisted, no matter how many excuses I came up with as to why I couldn't do what it asked... the one that pointed me to everything I love now and everything that made me who I am today... the little tiny voice that somehow knew I'd enjoy all of these experiences and grow when I wasn't even aware of it myself...  It's the same voice telling me to go back to Wisconsin.

I thought at first it was just missing everyone I met and missed having a good time. I thought maybe if I could tell the voice and convince it that it's only like that 1 week out of the year, this voice would quiet down. Maybe as more time passed, the voice would let go. Maybe I even needed professional help. Afterall, it was crazy to think of packing up my entire life here and moving somewhere unknown. It's scary, it's stupid. Plus, me a Georgia girl could never survive WI's winters. "You'll adapt", the voice whispers back. For every excuse I have, it has a solution.

All I know is that it wouldn't quiet down until I said "Maybe you are right, you've been right about everything else. No promises... and it might take me awhile, but I'll try". Sometimes when an idea (no matter how crazy) just won't let go, you need to stop fighting it and just go with it.