SAREX #2

Today went remarkably well. I went into today's SAREX very very nervous because there's still a lot I don't know about the G1000 and GX55. There's a fellow member that's in the same boat I am and in fact he called me last night about a lot of what has been going on. He also mentioned how unprepared he felt. I told him not to worry and maybe we could have a flight first as the scanner in the back, while keeping one eye on the Mission Observer. He thought that was a brilliant idea... unfortunately he didn't get to fly at all today.

The first flight was with a pilot I was friendly with... and Merlin. I did not want to see him when I arrived there and planned to stay as far away from him as possible. Unfortunately, he picked me first. Fortunately, he had the same idea I did and suggested I ride in the back to watch what he did, while flying as an Observer later. Awesomesauce.

But no more Ms. non-assertive - "Good idea, Merlin. Listen, I have a request". I said this during the briefing before the flight.

"Sure, go ahead"

"Would you mind slowing down everything for me and maybe talking through it?". He goes SUPER fast though stuff and I can never catch it all.  And for all I knew, he'd roll his eyes at my request and knock me for being weak or something.

"Sure, I will do that." Wow... I was surprised, and frankly, he looked surprised I asked.

Earlier in the morning, he stopped by and saw everything I had gotten together for this SAREX. Maps and a clipboard. It hadn't been easy (or cheap) to track these things down. He said he was really pleased I had these and was prepared. He started to give me a pat on the arm... and stopped midway as I glared at him.

So at least I was getting up in the plane. Merlin and the other guy were both training for aerial photography, which I also want to be trained in later. So Merlin was happy he was learning a new skill.... and I was happy because aerial photography missions involve a lot of steep turns. Plus, it added a few more duties for me as Mission Scanner.

I know this job cold and perform it flawlessly. Merlin is true to his word and after I'm done with my part for the moment, he makes sure I'm watching him before talking/walking me through what he's doing at a slower pace than normal. Perfect. This is going to be great.

It gets better when we go out and start taking pictures. High banking turns, tight turns on a point and the feeling of the breeze in my hair when Merlin had to open his window to take pictures. Plus, it was BREEZY! The higher winds were making the steep, tight turns even more fun. The scene out of the front of the airplane looked like a roller coaster. I was in heaven.

We had 4 targets we needed to get pictures of .... and 5 angles of each - overhead, north, south, east and west. I had to record down the order and technically how many of each...but Merlin didn't keep track.

One target left to go and I feel like I have indigestion all of a sudden. It took one steep turn to realize it was NOT indigestion... but queasiness. Crap, crap, crap. Don't think about it. I started looking straight forward and singing songs in my head. It went away. One strong wind caused us to be tossed around. It came back. I went to my happy place at Oshkosh. I ran through things I remembered and once again the feeling went away. The plane dipped and shot up again. The scene outside the front of the plane was like a roller coaster again as we turned into another steep turn. Not so much heaven right now. I'm in trouble now... and I know it.

"Bag?" I say meekly. I'm never going to live this down, but there's nothing else I can do. The pilot's IPAD is on my lap and I quickly move it to the side. Merlin finds a bag for me and the pilot opens the window. I sit for a minute, relieved by the cooler air in the cabin and breathe deeply. After a few minutes clutching the bag for dear life, the feeling goes away. I tell them I'm ok and they close the window. Merlin asks if I got sick and I tell them no. He asks me how I was able to stop it, and the pilot says I was able to will it away. Booyah.

So we still have work to do and I continue to do my job. Merlin can't get one of the shots, so we have to set it up again. I start thinking about how close I came to tossing my cookies... and guess what comes back? Craaaaaaaaaap.

"Window!" is all I'm able to get out. The pilot understands and opens the window again. I feel bad because with all the breeze, it makes it harder to hear the radios, but I'm about to burst. I wait until I'm feeling better and gives the thumbs up that I'm okay as soon as possible. I'm okay for the time being, but I need down. Now.

Merlin turns around with a smirk on his face and says, "So YOU want to fly aerobatics, huh?". I didn't feel well and my defenses were down, so I responded with an uncharacteristic "Shut up, Merlin".

Problem was that we tried to head back to the airport earlier.... and there was a rain shower right on top of it. We had to fly around until it cleared up. So everything was okay weather-wise and we came down. I was relieved, but Merlin and the other guy said I was a trooper for going through that while continuing to do my job. Double booyah.


We park the plane and can smell food cooking from the restaurant next door. Merlin comments about how we all need to grab lunch and he can smell steak cooking. That was all I needed and began to gag. Oh HELL no! I didn't make it this far to only toss my cookies just after we landed. I concentrated and stop the gagging with a sigh of relief. But at this point, I was worn out. Even though I managed not to get sick, it still drained me. A LOT.

I curled up on the couch while they debriefed and joined them when I felt up to it. They insisted on going to lunch, which even though I didn't want to eat at that moment, I figured it might make me feel better in the long run.

Allllllllll through lunch they talked about CAP and the problems going on with it. Guuuh.... c'mon guys! Quit talking about that stuff while I eat pul-leeeeeeease!

After lunch, I was asked to go up in a plane with another pilot.... as the Mission Observer. My heart nearly stopped. He and the other guy going with him told me that we were all here to learn and they would help me through it; not to worry. Besides, the pilot was another guy that I'm friendly with in the squadron. Okay! Let's do this!!

So we get into the plane and I'm doing as much as I can... which still isn't a lot. This was the Gx55 system, which I played with a few weeks ago but have more recently been training on the G1000. Odd enough though, Merlin's in my head - "Isn't there something else you should be doing?!?!". OH, YEAH! And my hand reached up to press buttons and turn knobs. The pilot even forgot something and I pointed it out to him. This pilot was super-nice... and almost coddling me. I hated being beaten down by Merlin in the plane, but coddling isn't the way to go either. I realized I retained more in my flights with Merlin because he expected so much of me. Don't expect much out of me and my brain doesn't scramble to try to remember something.

At one point during the flight, I feel the wind coming into the cabin (just a little, not to worry - no windows fell off) and it spoke to me. I closed my eyes and communicated back. I love this feeling of riding on the back of the wind.

"Want to fly?" asked the pilot.

Hell YES! "Sure", I answered. And just like that I'm flying. It's so smooth and it's been far too long since I've in control of an airplane. It was heaven.

Finally, we came back and the guy in the back (from another squadron) signed off on a few things for me. I did preform them, albeit not very well. I want to get more proficient before I get that rating. But I was happy... not only because I got to fly but because of the revelation I had in the plane.

Merlin walked through the door... and I smiled brightly at him. I think it confused him. Outside, I told him about how he was in my head during that flight. He started to object, wondering what was so wrong with asking someone "Isn't there something you should be doing right now?". I told him pointe blank that he was abrasive, but how things actually stuck in my head more during his beat-down flights rather than the coddle flights. I said I knew he wasn't a warm-fuzzy type of guy and that was okay... I get it. So be hard on me and be stingy with the compliments... but don't be an asshole.

We had a heart-to-heart chat afterwards. He explained to me some of the things that were going on in CAP... and I told him that I had friends on both sides, so I didn't want to be dragged into it. He told me I could leave if I wanted to, and he wouldn't stop me, but to try to wait for things to blow over. I told him how much the pencil-whipping comment hurt me... as well as some of the others, and he apologized. He said he was glad we had this chat and was impressed I could speak to him directly about this. He agreed not to be so insulting and said he wanted me to be able to say what was on my mind around him. Finally, he finished with how he really does like me as a person and cares very much for me, no matter how his actions might make it seem like he doesn't. We discussed aerobatics and he said he just wanted to make sure I'd be safe, that's all. Especially after Bob Osgaard passing away today while attempting to do a barrel roll, it hit home I guess for all of us. I had a feeling all along that's just what it is about aerobatics and him. But again, he presented it too abrasively...and caused me to react back. But apparently I reacted back equally abrasively and he took offensive to it. Guess we have a mutual non-asshole agreement or something now. haha I really really hope this talk ends up doing the trick.

The guy who didn't get a chance to fly today just called me. He said Merlin called him to apologize for him not getting any flights and said he talked to me for quite a long time. He said he also wanted to talk to Merlin and hoped my little chat would help pave the way for talking to him himself tomorrow. I told him to go for it and that Merlin was very receptive to my concerns. He thanked me for listening to him. I hope he doesn't leave the squadron. :(

So triple booyah today. I was quite pleased with myself. Got lots of good training done, was able to stop motion sickness three times in a row, and finally was able to give Merlin the assertiveness he was looking for.... Rather the assertiveness I was looking for.

I hope things continue to go this well. I really, really hope they do.